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07 March 2012 @ 04:51 am
the core of that little apple heart doesn't really accommodate hate  
this seems to be a period of time when i'm feeling a little braver than usual, more open than usual, more trusting of others than usual (if any more can be possible), more honest about how i really feel about things than usual. and i think that if there's anyone who wants anything out of me (if it could possibly get any easier), this would probably be the best time for them to get it from me.

***

much of myself cannot help being the person - and the personality - that i am. and tonight, i think to myself that i'm not going to fight it, and i'm not going to try to hide it any more, because it turns out that i can't and the savvy can tell anyway.

***

the worst thing someone could do is to hurt me; and yes, i am super sensitive and i am terrified of getting hurt and i do try ways and means all the time to protect myself from that, but there's only an extent to which i can control that.

***

maybe it's a foolhardy endeavour on my part, but i cannot help it; maybe i was made like this. i was trained differently from the very beginning, but at the end of the day i still cannot help but want to put the whole of myself out there.

***

i write all these because i have said countless times here and everywhere else, understanding really, really is everything to me, i practically beg people to understand me - this space exists for that reason. and today, just today, i shan't be ashamed of that.
 
 
 
工作室幽灵STUDIOGUYstudioguy on March 9th, 2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
*light nod of the head