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23 September 2003 @ 12:50 am
enlightenment...  
taking abit of stock here -- had my first english test last thursday; german mid-term's this thursday, and my european history mid-term's next wednesday. oh, and i also handed up my first philosophy paper this morning. let's hope all things will go well and smoothly this week, and that i'll be able to accomplish much. not give in to temptation and ill-discipline and whatsoever. my eu module's so gonna kill me... seriously lagging in the readings, not to mention the necessity to compile all i read into... proper knowledge(?) sigh. but well, no need to ask, i much prefer life now to jc life (workload, stress, freedom-wise). i know tons of people are sooo gonna disagree with me. maybe i have still yet to experience the peak(?) of all that stress, or maybe it's just the faculty i'm in, or maybe i'm finally doing something i really enjoy. in any case, i'm thankful.

just now i was quite (more than a little, really) downcast. no, not about schoolwork. we (femdog and i) had gone for dinner at clementi mac's after our lectures, and on the way home at the mrt station, we met a senior from secondary school. crapped and reminisced those... np days abit... and then she fleetingly mentioned some little stuff which, well, just made me feel... slightly affected. i thought it was almost over, almost over... but apparently, no matter how "almost over" it seems, it's still not all over yet. but i promise it is gonna be over, in time; it will, and i can't wait. i know occasionally i might still wonder how i could have let such a (insert some ego-boosting terms) slip out of my fingers; i'm jealous, i'm envious. but i guess, ultimately, it's not the things of this world i should be hankering after -- my motives are wrong, direction is wrong, everything's haywire.

You love me so much, why do i spurn You? why do i court sorrow and grief when comfort and peace are presented at my doorstep? i may forget You, but for eternity, You will remain true and relentless in Your pursuit for my heart. thank You, once again. You never, ever fail to wow me.
 
 
Mood: slightly teary
Music: you are my all in all -- hillsongs
 
 
 
the doobfemdog on September 27th, 2003 09:44 am (UTC)
sorry
hey. i had wanted to talk to you about it but i never did get the chance that day and soon after that, it slipped from my mind, until today when i saw something (bfb). real sorry. if you wanna talk about it, i'm all ears.

good luck to you, i know it's hard however -fill in the blanks- he may be and i sincerely hope you can get over it and him.
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on September 28th, 2003 08:26 am (UTC)
Re: sorry
nah it's ok lah... i recover really really quickly from stumbles, zai1 nan4s, despairs and all. :) thanks a whole lot anyway!

i can i can. i will! :>
the doobfemdog on October 3rd, 2003 08:29 am (UTC)
Re: sorry
heh you go girl! :)