i spend hours musing over matters, working them through my head with kkmlcolin applying bbjx lessons and logic, googling and reading up random sites online, and in the end the answer was just waiting for me in tonight's quiet time reading (feb 13).
three points that stood out for me:
1. "If I spread my doubts, I will harm my brethren."
2. What about the principle of reminding ourselves of the blessings of God in times past? Or actually talking to ourselves in the way the psalmist did in Psalm 42:5: "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God'".
3. Use everything you can to stop yourself from falling, however small or insignificant it might appear to be ... Don't concern yourself about climbing, just concern yourself with stopping your slide. Once you have stopped sliding you can then plan how to climb again.
and this one bible story that was the extra reading:
the widow had only a handful of flour and a little olive oil left and was preparing to die after her last meal of a few sticks. but God made it so that her jar of flour never ran out and her jug of oil never ran dry. even when her son died, God 也能把他起死回生.
gracious God. 其实答案就是祢啦.