this evening, after waking from a nap, just before i went for tuition, i realised that the pain seems to have travelled down to the right side of my ribcage. and now, every time i attempt (read: i only attempt, 'cos i'm always eventually forced to withdraw my attempt) to take a deep breath in, or yawn, or laugh, or cough, i experience the stabbing pain in my right ribs. it's much, much more painful to try to breathe deeply, than to cough, or laugh, or yawn, i don't know why. and i'm scared out of my wits. 'cos it hurts like crazy. so i'm like constantly holding my breath, only allowing myself the luxury of small little mouthfuls of air, a little like slow-motion hyperventilating. too vigorous movements hurt too. and i'm really scared.
i probably won't be going to school after all tomorrow. i probably will be visiting a doctor. i don't wanna make a whole big exaggerated fuss out of this all, but i'm like damn freaked out that it might be some internal injury (according to daddy, who likes to scared me to death) or that i've fractured my rib or something. i remember the time daddy said i might go blind, when i had a very bad case of conjunctivitis in primary two, and the time my sister said worms were eating up my stomach, when i was actually experiencing an acute case of gastric for the first time in my life in upper primary. (which is why i still feel a little like punching the next guy who comes along and upon knowing about my humoungous appetite, suggests that i have worms in my stomach. i just have amazing self-control, haha.) they made me cry at that time, but of course i'm not crying this time round.
but still, i don't want not to be able to run or jump or workout anymore. everyone knows that keeping fit (or at least the image of keeping fit)'s very important to me. i'll just die if i'm not able to do that (or even give the impression of doing that) anymore. remember when i fell off the sbs bus in sec three and sprained my ankle? at the tie da's at bedok north that night, i was filled with dread when the chinese doctor said i wouldn't be running for at least the next six months... the very next day, i was runing (albeit lightly) to grab some equipment the moment xiao huiling screamed at me. i really hope a miracle of the same will happen this time round... man, i still wanna get married and chase my bratty kids up and down and teach them how to run and ride the bike!