i promise you, i think "control" was the exact word i used in my prayer, before i flipped to everyday with Jesus, now you tell me, what are the odds of finding a reading for this day with the exact words you use in prayer right before you started even reading the day's passage? and it's happened to me twice this past week (the exact word/phrase), not to mention other extremely applicable and relevant readings! how could this God not be real?!?!? at that point, i really felt like the Spirit was giving my poor mortal body life... and i suddenly felt like i understood, finally, what they always mean by "streams of living water flowing from within"... and He legitimised me to call out to Him (even as i was feeling that, did i even have a right to type as i did in my previous entry?) because i belong to Him; and by Him i [can] cry, "Abba, Father." and one last thing from just that short passage, remember in my previous entry i talked about suffering and grief for "this little while"? He reminded me that "we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory". i mean, if i don't find life on earth very enjoyable at all, how much worse could Jesus have found it? still, He came. how nice of Him. and that's putting it way too mildly lor. can anybody believe that one short passage from the bible can instantly lift your spirits 'cos of how deeply it spoke to you? will you ever find such in any other book? truly, "the word of God is living and active. sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow..." (Hebrews 4:12)
and then the next little passage. how absolutely applicable to the poor, tired, burdened and wearied soul of mine! :> although i still don't really understand how i may "take [His] yoke upon [myself]", and how His yoke can possibly be easy and His burden light... although i actually don't even understand that at all, because, i mean, i really think it's very hard to be His good girl in a world like this... but hey, He said to come to Him, and He'd give me rest! how much more relevant could He get? when was christianity ever irrelevant, boring or untrue?
so, as much as i had desired sleep/rest, as much as i had dreaded doing quiet time (not least at 2am!), as much as i am an unfaithful, unworthy sinner, God has really been faithful, and merciful, and gracious, and a whole lot more. i asked to hear, i asked that He'd speak, and He answered. and this is exactly what keeps me going. because i know that He's here, He's around, He sees and He hears and He knows and He speaks, He answers prayers, He's real! and that's what makes life worth the living.
so now i'm like too elated to sleep. :]
And I'm forever grateful to You
I'm forever grateful for the cross
I'm forever grateful to You
That You came to seek and save the lost