My friends never knew exactly when I would cry, but they could bet it would happen at least once a day. I tried to hide my anxiety, but eventually, I began leaving church immediately to avoid talking to them. When anxiety struck at work, I would run to the restroom where I would cry in a stall. Even my prayers were demanding and tense, evidence of my unwillingness to fully trust God with the root causes of my anxiety--broken relationships, financial worries, and dreams that constantly seemed just out of reach.
Finally, a loving friend confronted me with the encouragement I needed to find help. She promised to walk alongside me, and over the next few months, I gained tools for coping with the anxieties of life. The stress didn't disappear overnight, but slowly I began to let go of the things I couldn't control and learned to discern what the Lord really requires of me.
In this week's featured article, "Choking on Anxiety", Charles Swindoll offers guidance that will help you cope with the stresses in your life. Whether you're facing major life events, or day-to-day circumstances, if life sometimes feels overwhelming, let his patient advice teach you how to make the subtle changes that will help you trust God and increase your enjoyment of life.
Also, if broken relationships are a source of anxiety in your life, be sure to read "Forgiving the Unrepentant" to learn why offering forgiveness to those who have wronged you may just be the best thing you can do for your own peace of mind......
One part of the article I found particularly true of myself:
3. Anxiety siphons our joy and makes us judgmental rather than accepting of others, so we become negative. We become negative when worry wins the battle. Inevitably we take our anxiety out on others. Worry works like bad cholesterol, hardening the arteries of our spiritual hearts and clogging the flow of love and grace toward people.
When anxiety creeps in, filling our minds with fear, distraction, and bitterness, we must turn to the One who offers an unexplainable peace. Thankfully we're not alone in this struggle......
i think all this was pretty timely in coming. only, maybe i wish it came a little earlier. i wish i weren't like that, but it all seems a little too late in wishing, even a little too late in preventing. i wish i didn't do, or did do stuff. i'm sorry i am/was so zhua niu jiao jian, gou xin dou jiao (and whatever other cheng yus apply). but never mind, life goes on. i'm constantly trying to be a good likeable person, and shall press on despite failure.