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14 September 2005 @ 02:09 am
lesson learnt from chasing the bus  
as i left home for school this morning, i was bordering on being late. upon reaching the bus stop opposite my place, i quickly boarded the first bus that came, which was number 65, which would take me one bus stop down to catch the 60 bus, had i just missed any. halfway to that one bus stop down, i spotted a number 60 ahead of us.

becoming instantly rather kan cheong spider (in what would be zq's words), i kept on peering out of the bus and started praying that i'd be able to catch it in time. but even as i ended my prayer, another bus (number 8) cut in between 60 and 65, which served to cause my bus delay, such that i eventually missed the 60 in front.

at this point, i started getting a little pissy and rolling my eyes to myself as i alighted from 65--goodness knows how long the next 60 bus would take to come?! and as i got off the bus, i turned to see that there was another 60 right behind my bus! of course, i hurriedly scrambled up the bus--it was relatively empty and had a very casual 优哉闲哉 feel to it, unlike that of the usual morning working crowds--and promptly gave thanks.

isn't life sometimes just like that too? you've got your eyes so set on the bus in front, that bus you can see, right there, right in front of you. you want so bad to catch it so you'd be in time for school or work or goodness-knows-what-else, you pray so hard for God to let you have it, let you have it your way, 'cos... well, i guess... no one ever really wants to be late.

but somehow it seems your prayer goes unanswered, somehow you just miss that bus ahead, and 你眼睁睁看着它离你越来越远,越来越远。。。(you, figuratively, eyes wide open, see it moving, further and further away from you...) it's no wonder you don't feel very fab about it all; if you were me, you might wanna stomp around for a bit to vent.

then as you turn around, you realise that, hey, oh my gosh, there's another bus right there, right behind you, and it's been there all this while! that's the bus you're gonna take, just that you hadn't known it then, 'cos... well, some double decked buses in singapore are designed in such a way that there's no window out the back for you to see what's behind of the bus. besides, you were so focused on the bus in front, you'd had your eyes all set on it--that's the bus that was gonna take you to school on time, that's the bus you were gonna take, there could be no other.

and then only now you realise that it wasn't so much that God hadn't answered your prayer, but that He'd answered it all along, just that you hadn't known it then, just that it might not have been the way you'd thought it'd be, but it was still as good, if not better than what you'd hoped it to be. God has His plans for our lives. they might be different, they mightn't coincide with our own grand little ideas for our own selfish little lives, but surely, surely, they're really good, if not far, far better.

man, do i hope and pray this would always be the case for my life. that is, when i miss the bus in front.
Mood: tired
Music: 道歉--无印良品
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on September 13th, 2005 06:30 pm (UTC)
to the random reader: sorry the entry's a tad incoherent. i'm darn tired, can't think straight, just that i'm afraid if i don't post this today, it'll never ever get posted, like so many other drafts long deleted. in my fuzzy state of mind, all i say seems to make perfect sense to me.
(Anonymous) on September 13th, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
could the random reader be, perhaps, me?

i will stalk you to death lest you every jilt me again.

come to my room and check out the shrine someday. *evil smile*
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on September 14th, 2005 09:25 am (UTC)
lest i every jilt you again?? haha. nowadays your grammar and spelling all a bit lousy leh, how to pei de shang wo? no wonder i dump you. hiak hiak.

i wanted to check out the shrine a long time ago but for all your love for me, your room got no aircon no fan no windows...
(Anonymous) on September 13th, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
could the random reader be, perhaps, me?

i will stalk you to death lest you ever jilt me again.

come to my room and check out the shrine someday. *evil smile*
the doob: adam brodyfemdog on September 16th, 2005 08:00 am (UTC)
getting philosophical
this is a good one. :)

i want to point out that you would first have to miss the bus in front, so as to be able to realise that there's actually another bus behind. now, what if you had been successful in chasing down the bus in front?

you would of course be quite happy that you managed to get onto it. but now that we are looking at the whole case in a wider perspective, we realise that success in getting on the earlier bus may not be such a good thing after all, cos the bus behind was, in your words, much better since it was more empty and had a "casual atmosphere". i think your point is that sometimes we have our eyes so focused on something that we actually become rather blind to everything else, not open to other solutions that could possibly be much better, and i agree with you.

so does that mean that the best solution is to always wait? wait for the right one to come? but that also doesn't make sense, because even if you wait, you might never have two buses coming along at the same time for you to choose. such is the way fate, or rather Murphy's Law works (haha). we shouldn't be so fixed upon something that we become blind, but we also shouldn't take the passive approach and just wait. so what do we do then? how do we achieve a balance?
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on September 16th, 2005 04:55 pm (UTC)
Re: getting philosophical
okay let's attempt to answer some of the issues addressed one by one...

what if i'd actually been successful in chasing down the bus in front? well i guess perhaps i'd never ever know that there was another bus behind, or i could at some point suddenly realise that there's another 60 behind and then realise that there'd been no need for worry and hurry at all in the first place. and perhaps upon seeing that the other bus is emptier and all, i might regret my quickness to action. or if i hadn't even known about the bus behind, i might still find the bus i'd caught very full and squeezy and generally unsatisfactory (not at all what i'd hope and expected), but not knowing any better available, i'd resign myself to it.

next, actually i don't even know that the bus behind was in actual fact "better" than the one in front. 'cos i never actually boarded the one in front, so i'd never actually know what coulda happened and all... all i know is that it was a good feeling to have been chasing so hard after something only to find another one, equally if not more satisfactory than the one in front, that seems to have been there for me all along.

is the best solution to wait? i'm not so sure about that one. but what i figured out, i think, at least is that sometimes there's no need to kan cheong... maybe you not necessarily have to purposely miss a bus that you could easily catch by simply quickening your steps, but when you do miss a bus, no need to feel too pek chek and curse and swear and stamp your feet roll your eyes either bah.

how to achieve the balance? hm. it's pretty hard to tell whether or not you can actually make it to catch a bus, don't you think? sometimes you run, you catch it. sometimes you run, you miss it, and everybody at the bus stop sees you panting away and you're majorly maluated cos you were running so uglily. sometimes you don't run, you still catch it somehow. sometimes you don't run and you just know you could never catch up with it.

so... how to achieve the balance?? in the words of my english lecturer, that's the multi-million dollar question. my answer is, that i simply don't know. and if i did, you wouldn't be reading entries on missing buses on my journal. :) haha. perhaps the trick is to see the humour in every failure and the silver lining on every dark cloud.
the doobfemdog on September 16th, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
Re: getting philosophical
nice answer. :)
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on September 17th, 2005 01:41 pm (UTC)
Re: getting philosophical
this sounds totally fu yan to me. haha.
the doobfemdog on September 17th, 2005 01:43 pm (UTC)
Re: getting philosophical
no... it's just that it's such a good answer that i can't think of anything else to say. honest. :)
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on September 17th, 2005 04:38 pm (UTC)
Re: getting philosophical
haha i know i'm good lah. hiak hiak.