September 22nd, 2013


wave watching

i would love to be there to watch the waves.

there is something both very awesome and very fearsome about that swell and ebb that just draws me, calls me; something very reverent about it.

i dream of it all the time -- watching rising waters from a ledge outside my flat (2008), watching the approaching tsunami crashing towards me from the window of a semi-secure building in the middle of nowhere... all recurrent dreams over the years that never fail to leave me with a sense of wonder when i wake; i always close my eyes and try to go back to sleep in a bid to relive them.

i remember being younger, sitting by the shore with friends at night, watching the gentle waves lapping, coming in and then going out. even then, i tried to imagine them engulfing me. i remember being at the east coast park with colin, looking down from behind low railings on a very concrete pathway at the swirling waters beneath us. even then, i felt slightly weak-kneed yet inexplicably attracted to it, could not tear my eyes from it.

funny thing is, why should it entice me so when i can't even swim and am scared to death of drowning (though not of falling)?

i would love to be there to watch the waves.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.