a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door
in_transit

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on the flip side

i dreamt that some prc student (inexistent) who disliked my syntax teacher, tipped the dean off that his phd thesis was worthless and plagiarised. the dean fired him on the spot in the middle of class and he grabbed his stuff and left, causing an uproar among us. a couple of minutes later, we found out from a fellow student (inexistent as well) that he had messaged him only the night before saying that he felt depressed (over what, i don't know). losing his job out of the blue in front of us all and having his phd thesis declared as useless and plagiarised must have been the straw that broke the camel's back; he threw himself off the building.

a while later, we attended his funeral, where the said prc student was hugging his coffin crying, while the dean was dunnowhere trying to deal with her guilt. (you won't believe it, when we looked into the coffin, his body was still squirming a little. somebody said that he was already dead, but his body was still adjusting to it. somebody else said that in this case, his sins wouldn't be purged. whatever that was supposed to mean, i had no idea 'cos i was too busy feeling sorry for him.)

the immediate thing that had first entered my mind upon the pronouncement of his being fired was, shit, he hasn't marked and returned my tutorial yet. who's gonna take over now, are we gonna continue studying this according to his particular approach, and how're they gonna grade us for this? what selfish thoughts. then i thought of how nice he had been, and patient and tolerant, and earnest in explanations and improving in the way he's been teaching (this part is true). and i attempted to speak to the dean about all this and how he would make an okay teacher despite the fact that his phd thesis was rubbish.

at the funeral, i was touched with (more than) a twinge of guilt for not having done and handed in my previous two tutorials. i remembered how he had said it was okay and no problem at all when i said i didn't have the time and would hand it in later the next week (three/four weeks late!). i remembered how i would always pester him to return my marked stuff and he even apologised with something that sounded like utmost sincerity 'cos he forgot to bring, or haven't marked, or something. and i felt so absolutely guilty. (the whole of this paragraph is true excepting "at the funeral".)

as a result of my dream, i think i woke up very much more appreciative of him. which was of course already coming from the moment he asked me about my late tutorials and i had to give a sheepish reply to which he still said it's perfectly fine blah blah. omg you can tell how guilty i feel; like i've let him down or something heh. but i'll never get 'round to doing them yet this week 'cos i have two other major stuff due before friday. :(
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  • 14 comments

  • the past fortnight

    these days, i generally don't post when i'm not working, cos i'm lazy to start up the comp, and the lj mobile app is quite crappy (i'm sure you all…

  • a good friday

    hello. this week's work schedule was another one of those messy ones that screwed up my sleep cycle a bit. ended up repeatedly waking from 4am in…

  • the scariness of being responsible for other living things

    i resolve to ignore my two pothos for at least a week. and to mostly leave the m.d. alone for the next 10 days or so until its leaves get a wee bit…