a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

  • Mood:
  • Music:

不由自主 恍恍惚惚 又走回头路

"The place I am at right now is that embarrassing moment when I look in the mirror and I feel shame, and I say stupid crap to myself in disgust."

what i really like about this guy is that he often says stuff that i feel the same way about, or i get the same experiences, or something. so i don't feel so weird, so crazy about these secret things, secret thoughts. so i feel like, hey, this guy does that/feels that too, we must be normal then.

you know, sometimes i think i know why those medically-certified really crazy people go around shocking people by spewing vulgarities out of the blue in public. it's almost like something i do too - have conversations with yourself, have running commentaries in your head, suddenly be told of something unpleasant, or reminded of something you don't want to remember, so you start lashing out in self-rebuke, or you fill your head instead with extreme, audible words and phrases to block those thoughts out. except, i manage to do that only in private, or soundlessly; though sometimes i forget, or i think i'm alone, and i accidentally let slip.

sometimes, i think, i'm not really all that different from alsa and aru.

but then again, maybe my self-consciousness is all that makes the difference.

*edit, sep 4, 1.30am* yet, it's my self-consciousness that started the crazy shit i go through of talking to myself in the first place. and it's my self-consciousness that stops me from it aloud in public. so, am i crazy or not??

  • vincenzo

    lately i've been watching vincenzo on netflix. song joong-ki's face is so smooth. the baddie also quite cute cos he's tall, the way i like 'em. the…

  • 懒熊

    yesterday we went night safari. took the tram twice, did all the trails, and saw many animals. but had to miss the creatures of the night show…

  • highly recommend 我们唱着的歌

    just watched on netflix, six years late, a very moving local documentary - 我们唱着的歌 the songs we sang. i actually started the show only to have…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.