a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

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simple ideals and stuff going up in smoke

today, i found out, to my shock and horror and utter devastation, that this friend of mine since secondary school days, has picked up smoking. that's not the point, i guess. the point is, this is one guy whom i've always sorta admired... he was (or is) intelligent, hardworking (read: mugger), disciplined, determined, knew what he wanted in life, and was always frank and honest and a nice guy and stuff. you could liken him to leonard... minus the looks department... 'tho he's not too bad looking himself.

i know having picked up smoking doesn't make him any lesser now. smoking doesn't make you a bad guy. smoking isn't wrong... it isn't illegal, and i don't suppose it's morally wrong either, depending on how you look at stuff. but still......

perhaps it's the education system we've gone through. all our lives, campaigns told us "smoking kills", to "say no to smoking", and that we're "too tuff to puff". in primary school, we had competitions to draw posters on that annually; smoking was linked to drugs, ah-bengs, gang fights, rehab centres, and warped lives. they told us it was equivalent to drinking tar and they showed us that gross stuff oozing out of a dissected heart. i don't know......

maybe it was all just propaganda... like all that casual sex and aids stuff... that's what some people say -- it's not so easy to die... chances! probability! fate! whatever! but i believe it's all for the good of us; the otherwise uninformed, ignorant, who can't judge better for ourselves. afterall, having smoked so many times throughout your lifetime, or had so many flings and one-night-stands all your life, won't all that probability stuff add up? you become more and more susceptible with each additional puff you make, each ... you engage in. isn't that so? it's killing yourself slowly, silently, surely... i couldn't bear that... and if i equate this to suicide, do smokers go to hell? (assuming they know it kills)

k, i guess that's going too far off tangent. but i find i'm beginning to reshape my views on smoking and smokers due to this single experience. this guy is indeed the first friend i know personally, whom i've found out to have picked up smoking... he was smart, studied hard, did very well both athletically and academically... i don't know if he'll be the last. was it ns? the stresses of the society? school? the rat-race? i was devastated; i think i will still be, for a while.

perhaps i'm being devastated at my simple view of this particular issue (people and smoking) finally falling apart. i know i've never been a "black-and-white" sorta person. there's so much gray and i'm always rather cynical. but he's somebody whom i actually know, and like... as in simple "like" lah. and i'm usually disgusted, in a way, at smokers. and there already aren't many things that i can view at black-and-white level, and here's one more turning gray and complex. i feel lost.

i know smokers aren't necessarily bad. i do.

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