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23 August 2003 @ 10:34 pm
simple ideals and stuff going up in smoke  
today, i found out, to my shock and horror and utter devastation, that this friend of mine since secondary school days, has picked up smoking. that's not the point, i guess. the point is, this is one guy whom i've always sorta admired... he was (or is) intelligent, hardworking (read: mugger), disciplined, determined, knew what he wanted in life, and was always frank and honest and a nice guy and stuff. you could liken him to leonard... minus the looks department... 'tho he's not too bad looking himself.

i know having picked up smoking doesn't make him any lesser now. smoking doesn't make you a bad guy. smoking isn't wrong... it isn't illegal, and i don't suppose it's morally wrong either, depending on how you look at stuff. but still......

perhaps it's the education system we've gone through. all our lives, campaigns told us "smoking kills", to "say no to smoking", and that we're "too tuff to puff". in primary school, we had competitions to draw posters on that annually; smoking was linked to drugs, ah-bengs, gang fights, rehab centres, and warped lives. they told us it was equivalent to drinking tar and they showed us that gross stuff oozing out of a dissected heart. i don't know......

maybe it was all just propaganda... like all that casual sex and aids stuff... that's what some people say -- it's not so easy to die... chances! probability! fate! whatever! but i believe it's all for the good of us; the otherwise uninformed, ignorant, who can't judge better for ourselves. afterall, having smoked so many times throughout your lifetime, or had so many flings and one-night-stands all your life, won't all that probability stuff add up? you become more and more susceptible with each additional puff you make, each ... you engage in. isn't that so? it's killing yourself slowly, silently, surely... i couldn't bear that... and if i equate this to suicide, do smokers go to hell? (assuming they know it kills)

k, i guess that's going too far off tangent. but i find i'm beginning to reshape my views on smoking and smokers due to this single experience. this guy is indeed the first friend i know personally, whom i've found out to have picked up smoking... he was smart, studied hard, did very well both athletically and academically... i don't know if he'll be the last. was it ns? the stresses of the society? school? the rat-race? i was devastated; i think i will still be, for a while.

perhaps i'm being devastated at my simple view of this particular issue (people and smoking) finally falling apart. i know i've never been a "black-and-white" sorta person. there's so much gray and i'm always rather cynical. but he's somebody whom i actually know, and like... as in simple "like" lah. and i'm usually disgusted, in a way, at smokers. and there already aren't many things that i can view at black-and-white level, and here's one more turning gray and complex. i feel lost.

i know smokers aren't necessarily bad. i do.
Mood: uncomfortable
Music: silent all these years -- sun yan zi
the doobfemdog on August 23rd, 2003 10:24 am (UTC)
i do know smokers aren't bad too. but i think the propaganda has made me always first view people smoking as bad, then i'll be trying to tell myself it's really ok, it doesn't make someone a bad person just because he smokes. that's it, i'll just blame the propaganda. ;P

well, we've come to the topic of smoking again. i did say that i felt like smoking the other time right? that feeling hasn't really left me completely, to tell you the truth. i dunno why, i dunno how, but sometimes there's this urge in me, this curiosity more like, that tells me to just try it. but as soon as i see someone our age smoke, the craving(?) just stops. so it's good in a way lah. other than this unexplainable "phenomena", i'm not smoking mainly because i know it isn't good for health (hence the propaganda).

if one of my friend picked up smoking, i don't think i would treat him/her differently. i hope. and actually i don't think i'll force him/her to quit, because i think it's quite impossible. i can only remind him/her that it's unhealthy and maybe when he/she is ready to quit, i'll then do my best to help. that said, i don't think i'll really know what to do if x picks up smoking in NS. x = someone bfb say here.

hope you don't feel lost. i can understand your feeling lah (cos i just thought of x) but i think as we grow older and older, these things will be more common than not. we'll just have to adapt to our friends changing i guess.
the doobfemdog on August 23rd, 2003 10:30 am (UTC)
oppression => volcano erupt
oh yeah another thought. the fact that more and more people are smoking nowadays (youngsters especially) sort of shows something. maybe the propaganda tactic isn't working as expected? don't you feel that the propaganda has actually made us young people even more curious about smoking, and thus more likely to pick it up? you know, oppression can have negative effects (see dhs' school rules). well i dunno, it's just a thought.
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on August 27th, 2003 12:58 am (UTC)
Re: oppression => volcano erupt
i have read and understood and may come back to tao3 run4 (or lun4?) someday... but currently school makes me braindead. :p
the doobfemdog on August 28th, 2003 09:57 am (UTC)
Re: oppression => volcano erupt
it's tao3 lun4, my dear. i am the shen2 of hanyu pinyin, my mother considers me a walking dictionary of hanyu pinyin. ;P
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on August 30th, 2003 09:30 am (UTC)
Re: oppression => volcano erupt
and i am the walking grammar book. wahahaha
the doobfemdog on August 31st, 2003 01:07 am (UTC)
Re: oppression => volcano erupt
bhb. =P
(Anonymous) on August 25th, 2003 02:46 am (UTC)
hey, it's quite sad. plus the fact tt it's him kaes it worse...i hope none of us becomes lidat, or if we do, everyone will for give the person who does it....sob sigh sob
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on August 27th, 2003 12:52 am (UTC)
yeah, from now on, i think i'll feel pretty awkward speaking to him... sigh sob... not that this matter's worth crying over. ;p realise it doesn't really affect me directly... i don't know. i miss you.
the doobfemdog on August 28th, 2003 09:58 am (UTC)
btw who is he? if it's bfb, you can tell me some other time.