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07 May 2012 @ 07:40 am
run, scout, run  
just discovered the amazing pattern - everything the people i adore say is incredibly insightful, clever, witty or funny, and everything the people i detest say is incredibly short-sighted, narrow, ignorant, plain stupid or just blah. everything and everyone else just falls in between.

***

when i was in secondary school and reading harper lee's to kill a mockingbird at home ahead of class for lit, i cried many times over several sections of the book. so many things in the book, i will never forget. to this day, so many of the quotes in the book remain with me.

at times, i have thought, such a childish book - it's really easy understanding, the perfect secondary-school lit text. yet, re-reading parts of the book tonight (or day), i discover that atticus' wisdom has shaped my life so much more than i even realised.

months back, a colleague - who has an interest in people's mental processes, etc. - asked me to look into my past and to try and identify why i am the way i am. he said this with specific reference to something lah. i looked inwards, racking my brains at that time, but couldn't give him an answer right then. it wasn't till i randomly went through atticus' closing statement in the tom robinson case just that it finally struck me. it's a funny thing really, the skips in logic this infp brain can make at times, and the impact it can have on my preoccupations and preferences in life as i grow older.

(as a sidenote, it's funny how my friends, teachers, colleagues, bosses, etc. always seem to be asking me to look into my past for explanations. or maybe these are the only things i actually register of all the things they talk to me about. and then the "answer" never quite strikes me till months or years later, so i can never quite explain myself to them.)

literature, it's such a curious thing - it can be so moral, yet so amoral. till today, so-moral-yet-so-amoral matters, things, people, whatever, they still intrigue me. (maybe anything between the lines, i don't know.) and the people i adore, i think i adore partly because they are people who get this, some way or other.