a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

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and the curtains fall...

maybe i just tend to heroify(?) the people that i like, i don't know... but it's really gonna take a whole damn lot to change my views in such cases. (unless something drastic happens, of course... which brings back some memories of crushes gone wrong... *grin*) and sometimes it isn't very helpful either... quite the opposite, rather. so, please don't try, again. but still, a million thanks for the attempts, because the chu1 fa1 dian3 dou1 shi4 hao3 de, i know. :> but sometimes, i just feel that even the remaining shreds of my self-confidence are really torn away by these.

it's like... i remember hearing this on some hongkong drama serial a couple of years back -- "zhen3 me4 ni3 ba3 le4 se4 dang1 zuo4 bao3?" it may just be a "le4 se4", but it really isn't, in my eyes; and i simply refuse to believe it is, and i just won't, even if everyone does. but don't worry that i will keep it for the rest of my life, because, eventually, i'll have to do some springcleaning, someday. and then i'll find some new "le4 se4" for myself. or maybe, for once, people will actually think it a "bao3" too.

i probably sound incoherent. and possibly a little insane. maybe you don't understand what i'm driving at, (whoever you may be) but that's because i don't have a driver's license. (ok, that was lame) ever heard the song "runaway train" by soul asylum? it's a really really nice song; liked it since i was, maybe fourteen, or even younger. but i'm not hopeless because i do have Someone to help me. sometimes i do feel like a runaway train, but i know it's not a one-way track for me. thank Him. I... I'm lost without You; I... I'm desperate for You... (part of a christian song called "breathe") i guess it's really You i'm desperate for. grant me strength.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

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