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11 November 2003 @ 12:41 am
nobody else could have done this in me but for You  
i get angry all over again when i think about it. sure, we've both improved along the years... but sometimes i just feel like you need someone to give you one hard kick in the ass. possibly that could be exactly what's necessary to get me outta bed, but don't think you don't need one too. i can't stand it. i wanna slam the door, throw the keys on the floor, stamp my feet all around the house and scream and shout. i don't care if that's exactly what i did this morning. your long-term motive is to bao4 all my xie3 guan3s, isn't it?

since the worst thing to do in anger is to dig up the past and start harping on it, i shan't do it. i won't mention that a long time ago, you had the nerve to kick my cat. the nerve! to kick! my cat! you dared! i hate the memory!!! how dared you do that to him??!?!! (before eager arsonists flame me, consider ironic humour...)


in your anger, do not sin. do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

surely writing this in my lj can't make it a sin? i certainly hope not... this has become my only outlet; i'd kick up an even bigger fuss otherwise. but the sun has long since gone down. and i'm still angry despite having spent the entire day out. because it's just so hard not to be, right now.

these aside, i made the mistake of thinking i could do stuff alone. how wrong am i. i need so much more than myself. no, actually, just Someone more. but really, i should learn to look past all that (not to the extent of not trying, though). after all, i guess, that's not what i'm here on earth for, anyway. :)

i'm tired of being angry. i give up. thanks for the timely reminder. now i'm drained for having spent my day harbouring the grudge. goodnight, and thank You so much for You. :)

ps: i really wanna do You proud, You know? besides, i've always been daddy's girl! :)

pps: the magic of relinquishing control and seeing that my strength alone is grossly insufficient, is really more than i ever expected.
Mood: erratic
Music: sway -- bic runga
(Anonymous) on November 10th, 2003 09:41 am (UTC)

din noe that u werent exactly having a good time till i read this now. :) glad tt u are feeling ok now. a v sweet entry, i must say. Im sure you can do Him proud. Yes definitely! Isnt He just so amazing? In Him, we find all the solutions to our problems. And He's so good that He wants to do everything for us. If only we can all learn to let go easily. Let's encourage each other to look past our own efforts in every aspect of our life and to look to Him more and more. And it's so exciting to see the ways He can work in us and through us!!!

a xi1 ke4. haha. cya soon!
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on November 10th, 2003 06:43 pm (UTC)
hey, thank you very much! :) didn't have much time to catch up with you today, sigh... i feel like i have so much left unsaid! ('cos i spent too much time raving about oliver and dad ;p) never mind, after the exams! have a super productive time... (since productive is a normal word for you haha)

btw, my sister would never, ever kick guybrush lah!
(Anonymous) on November 11th, 2003 07:26 am (UTC)

wah... glad that you also know that... haha... but actually i dun mind. just that im convinced now that you are really mad over oliver and dad!!! haha. but q fun. q exciting. i may also go write my own fan fic after the exams. wanted to tell you sth too... remind me arh... =) gd nite.
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on November 14th, 2003 06:00 am (UTC)
so have you told me the thing you wanted to tell me yet??

ps: oliver's daddy rules!!
the doobfemdog on November 12th, 2003 06:42 pm (UTC)
ahh. you reply wrongly ah?
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on November 14th, 2003 06:11 am (UTC)
i never lah. tsk tsk. now, you don't confuse me ah!
(Anonymous) on November 10th, 2003 08:54 pm (UTC)
Mag, wonder who you were referring to when you wrote the reply to the comment? wonder if you thought that was me or whether you actually know who that is? haha...

hmmm...well, anyway...was touched to tears (almost!) when I read this. Thank you for writing something like that...I also want to do Him proud. Let's all strive together....

a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on November 14th, 2003 05:59 am (UTC)
Re: =)
aiyah i was referring to rina lah, i'm not as blur as that, yet! :>