a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

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You are always here sustaining me

dearest, most merciful, wonderful Lord,

i can't ever thank You enough for all the things You do in my life, Lord, words alone can never express how You reach out and touch me. Lord, You know i hate tears, i build walls; Lord, yet You tear each and every one down, and You bring me to the brink... with all this overflowing grace and mercy You keep showering upon me, despite my waywardness, and my undeserving nature. when i think i've hit the bottom, i can't get lower, when no-one else might understand, Lord, You, and Your presence alone lifts me up. even when i try and deal with it all by myself, when i think my own capabilities can bring me through, when i fail to entrust everything unto You, Lord, not once have You let me down, and i know You never will. thank You for always being here, always having been here, even when i thought i didn't need You, that i could actually do without You... thank You for always nudging me back into Your embrace, Lord; thank You for answering me, Lord, thank You that You never left, and that You never will. thank You for reviving me, Lord, time and again. thank You so very much, Lord, for the people you surround me with. thank You for timely reminders, Lord, thank You for being ever present...

thank you too, jerubbaal, andjewelintheworld, for your presences in my online world. thanks for constant reminders and inspirations. and thanks to rina and senny too, for talking... for encouragements and assurances, for letting me know that i'm not alone in feeling this way.

you know, before i actually decided to type this entry, i was just listening to the song, and thinking about God. just thinking, not praying; just pondering over what rina and i spoke about just now... somehow i just bent down and picked up this small booklet that happened to be lying on the floor under the computer table. the first words i read on the cover were:

Then Jesus told his disciples ... that they should always pray and not give up.

there's just too much to say about how i felt the instant it registered. at the point where i'm afraid that my faith will not be enough to carry me through, He's telling me that He's still here, that He never left... and i can't describe how i feel... now i give thanks for my sister's messiness that made her leave her prayer book lying on the floor so i could pick it up. God works in so many small little ways...

i know some won't understand. it might jolly well be a coincidence. but it isn't because i know it isn't. i've been touched in so many ways in a day. 'touched' is too mild a word. i really feel joyful. bittersweet joy. i don't wanna stop raving......

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