a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

  • Mood:
  • Music:

2003 review

between yesterday and today mark the difference of a year. and for me, the difference of perception. it was really at that point of 2003 moving on to 2004 that it struck me. and i greeted the revelation with numbness, indifference.

2003 started off like a certain lazy cat stretching himself across my balcony floor -- very, extremely relaxed. i had the entire world to look forward to: i never intended to do a single day's work (and i didn't), i was finally gonna get german lessons and i was gonna excel in it (more or less, haha). doing anything depended solely on my own desire: i could sleep and wake anytime i liked, surf the net or chat on the phone into the wee wee hours of the night, go out shopping and eating for all my allowance could support... i ran when i felt like it, frequented the libraries and indulged in a series of books, genre entirely new to me, and revised my german on and off. my only gripping fear was the a level results -- if i flunked it, i would fling myself out the window.

in the end i didn't, since i didn't flunk it anyway. i was thankful, i was glad, and i had another half-year of ultimate relaxation to go before college life took over. 'tho i have the notion that doing all you desire, all the time isn't exactly good for the soul, i still look back fondly at those days, constantly. i have the suspicion it's never gonna happen again, ever. anyway, school started in no time. for the first time since jc (minus goethe-institut), i actually found a passion for the stuff i was learning. i joined a cca where people weren't judgemental, nor hypocritical, or at least, they try hard not to; and where their enthusiasm is coming from, even if i don't always welcome it, i understand. i made new friends despite antisocialness, fell in love with my german class, nursed a new crush (who's ever giving me false? hope each day)... i did relatively well in school, was mostly happy; the holidays came and are almost leaving... and so i leave off 2003 here.

who knows what 2004 will bring? for me, life's still more or less a game of snake and ladders. perhaps now, it seems to be a series of uphill climbs; no doubt i shall sooner or later find myself sliding down a coupla snakes, but i don't climb alone. and i know who holds the dice. i've a handful of unfulfilled resolutions, renewed, remade, and some hope for the new year.

i don't wanna live my life in a smoky club among people dancing mindlessly to the music of the world. you could take the latter sentence figuratively, literally, whatever. i don't mean to put anyone down; i'm no better, no more moral than the party-people. they probably don't really dance mindlessly... only, when i'm there, i feel like i'm the senseless one, not being where i belong. and xl, yn and zq (and the rest who don't know about my journal), please don't think that i didn't have fun last night. i did have fun, but let's just say it was more of an enriching, eye-opening experience than an enjoyable one. *grin* a car and a credit card are indeed very attractive (and convenient too), but i'm sure now what i want runs much further from all that, that i could do without them.

ps: just to sidetrack, i met lippy again last night, at the suntec walkway where i always bump into people, right after i said i hoped i wouldn't meet anyone i know. for once, i wasn't wearing my sleeping clothes or the s4 t-shirt, but he didn't see me anyway. :< and for once, he also wasn't in ah-pek clothes. he was in an orange shirt and had his usually curly hair all slicked back like a bad person. :> but he didn't see me.


  • a death

    an ex-colleague died today. i thought he had beaten the cancer when it seemed that he had returned to work a while ago, though i personally knew of…

  • boosted

    got my moderna booster on tuesday morning - a quarter dose instead of a half dose, which was never reported in the news, it seems. thought i’d be…

  • memory lane

    haven't really been updating much of late cos lots of things to do and lots of distractions now that i'm living with my parents again, sobz. haven't…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.