a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

moving thoughts

you haven't heard from me for a while here as i've been busy moving things over and sorting things out. am glad that most of the main stuff is over now. it's a bit of a hassle trying to divide some of my belongings between two places (namely my favourite rags to wear at home and the charging wires for my devices). encountered some hiccups along the way, too, like moving of books was stalled after some of the shelves started to sag(!!) immediately under the weight of the books, making me freak out because they're behind glass doors and not far from the bed, and also because we have lots of really heavy reference books and they aren't even on those shelves yet! i have nothing more to say about the weak shelves except that the id is a piece of shit who never listened and made empty boasts despite my repeated warnings and photos showing him exactly the amount and type of books the shelves are to store. the stretch of shelves across 1.5 walls in my bedroom in my parents' place has lasted some 35 years carrying far heavier sets of encyclopaedias and tonnes of coffeetable-type books without any problem ever, and apparently all the built-ins in that room cost s$3,000 to build back in 1986, lol - they really don't make them like they used to any more, sighz.

frankly, i really love my bedroom in my parents' place, and it makes me feel a little sad that some day soon enough, the built-ins that saw us grow up will all be torn down because they're now old, chipped at ends and dated, even if still extremely sturdy. that stretch of study saw me through my first piano theory lessons at age four with ms wong (where i thought she wanted me to draw a shark instead of a sharp), and then poring over (and cheating at) chinese assessments in upper pri, my first midnight-oil session mugging for chinese exam in lower sec, my math tuition lessons with mr tan in jc... and now it's even the trusty site for my wfh days more than three decades on. the room's spacious cabinets housed our barbies' homes without the need for an actual barbie house; we each claimed a drawer here and a cupboard there; my sister once left a piece of bread moulding in one for months (as a science experiment) and forgot all about it until we found it stinking up the cupboard so much that to this day, we still don't really dare to use it and still refer to it as the mouldy bread cupboard. we switched bedrooms every once in a long while, but this bedroom saw me through ken my jc crush whom i smsed constantly for a time and thought of while listening to chen xiaodong songs on the hifi before bed (before he admitted to being in love with my best friend lolz), and colin who napped in my bed after school until my dad arrived home from work and she jumped up and pretended to be all chirpy and not a lazy pig, and harry whom my visiting auntie thought was up to no good while we were busy playing sims behind the closed door, and sleeping on tilams on the floor with my sister, chatting about random things until one of us fell asleep... it was actually also the site of one entire alpha course, i believe; amazing.

frankly, i really wouldn't mind if my parents decided not to renovate their place after all. but the decor and the built-ins are really dated and some, quite damaged. i'm quite sentimental about it all, but also try to remember that much as i loved, for example, my 2nd hk flat (because it was the first place i did up all on my own), i also had to leave it eventually and will never see it again, having only my memories of the flat to remember it by. (p.s. i rented that hk flat in part also because its old 80s decor reminded me of home, haha.) that's just life, i guess. there are things to look forward too, though, if they do get around to renovate it (once more workers are available, that is). something new for me to design and decorate without being overly invested in it as i was for my place, lol. i already know what i want to do to their whole place - namely merge the balcony with the hall, and tear down the kitchen wall and replace it with a sliding glass door, and reconfigure the kitchen counters for easier access to the chute. and learning from mistakes i made with my own place, like install ceiling fans without lights, etc etc. okay yah, basically i'm treating this like a real-life sims game, lol.

moving on from my happy fantasies for now, i hope i find it in me to dust and move the computers over tomorrow, and all my documents, and maybe my cabinet worth of bags. guess the dressing table worth of scattered makeup/face products, random stationery, and remaining books and cds will have to wait for another day. being the neat freak i am, i still need time to get them all sorted nicely and neatly into the right easy-to-access places. i'm not due back at work until thursday (i took two weeks' off), but already don't feel like returning ever again liao. after all i spent much of my first several days off tuning in to urgent pressers, townhalls, q&as etc, and when it wasn't that, i was busy figuring everything out with my group chats of confused/anxious/enraged friends/colleagues. with the matter a week's distance from us now, i'll just say that i'm glad that work - important as it is - isn't everything that's going on in my life. what's seemingly bad for the industry, the organisation, or some bigger whole, may not necessarily always prove bad for each and every one of its individuals. just as a major turning point that seemed good for the whole of one of my prev orgs didn't necessarily turn out good for me as an individual - and only time and its insiders can tell that it may not have been that good for the org in the end after all. perhaps, sometimes, life's just hard to predict this way. so for now - having had 1.5 weeks' distance from my daily duties - i'd say i resolve to just go on quietly (and hopefully effortlessly) doing what i do, and to devote more energy to seeking contentment in various other areas of my life, like sorting out my new place, getting rid of my belly, getting toner, eating less unhealthily, toying with the idea of a cat, and more. i actually still have about 28 days of leave/off in lieu to clear in the next three months, but not sure when to take them, whether to take them all in one shot, or what... (and if disappearing for such a long time right before appraisal is wise...)

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