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13 February 2004 @ 11:20 am
friday thirteen doesn't scare me  
everything always looks tons tons better in the morning, right after i awake. sometimes i seriously suspect i've been smiling in my sleep. never talk to me wee hours of the night, i'm prone to spouting nonsense then. the past week's been close to hell. stress and pressure in all forms. i had to forsake 2131 lecture to complete the lit essay before german so i wouldn't hafta go school today. it's goethe-institut today. it's been some time since the last time i went. and i miss the toilet. the privacy it provides each time i wanna avoid interaction. of course i still do it in school now, everyone knows that. but it's the goethe-institut toilet ambience that's great. :p don't be surprised i'm so anti-social. that's why i'm so jealous of her. not just envious, i'm jealous. i know it's so bad. she's everything that i'm not. not that i ever wanted to be anything like her, but now i'm guessing she's got something i want. of course i may jolly well be damn bloody wrong. but oh well... i can't help feeling this way. i wish i weren't so shallow and dumbass either. i wish things didn't matter to me the way they don't to her. there are really more factions than one in here.

my comfort has come, in the form of music. this song never fails to stir me. i think i could listen to it forever. when the music fades, all is stripped away...... always makes me feel so naked. for my warped ways, and warped thinking, and all that is warped and wrong and gone awry. and walls. actually i am capable of love. andrew lincoln wasn't wrong when he said in the show that it's all about self-preservation. sometimes i just can't see beyond my own world. and my own fears. and that little guy in that red suit, with horns, sitting on my left shoulder, holding that pitchfork, is sometimes all too real. but i wanna know Yours.
Mood: loved
Music: the heart of worship -- hillsongs
unblurunblur on February 13th, 2004 01:53 am (UTC)
hope your hellish week will never resurface again.

i like the heart of worship too. :)
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on February 16th, 2004 04:40 am (UTC)
haha thanks i certainly hope it never does either! yeah heart of worship is one of those songs i don't really get sick of despite repeating it tons of times on the winamp. :)
dreamerjarcheenta on February 13th, 2004 02:11 am (UTC)

what do you do in the goethe-institut toilet?!
the doobfemdog on February 13th, 2004 08:34 am (UTC)
god knows. haha.
don't you know she has an obsession, or rather love-hate relationship, with toilets?
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on February 16th, 2004 04:44 am (UTC)
hey hey i have a lonve-love relationship with them ok! they're the most comfortable place you could ever be, besides the bed, of course. there, all defences come down, you've got nothing to hide (unless someone else is in there with you too, of course) and you're being the most natural 'you' you could ever be!
the doobfemdog on February 16th, 2004 05:04 am (UTC)
haha i was saying love-hate cos you always feel very insecure in the cublicles what...hahaha...remember the indian worker incident?
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on February 16th, 2004 05:05 am (UTC)
wah lau. shit. blackmail me! that was my overactive imagination having some fun with me lah!! idiot...
the doobfemdog on February 16th, 2004 05:22 am (UTC)
dreamerjarcheenta on February 16th, 2004 05:28 am (UTC)

waaah! tell me! tell me!! =P
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on February 18th, 2004 01:00 am (UTC)
aiyah it's nothing much lah. just my experience in a very secluded toilet in a very secluded part of nus one very dark and stormy early morning, when there were many indian workers outside that particular toilet when i went in alone.

halfway when i was seating on the toiletbowl and reading the bible, somebody came into the cubicle next to mine and locked the door. but then i suddenly realised that the person hadn't moved from where he/she was standing after he/she had locked the door... and the person didn't move for a long time somemore. so i was abit worried and i kinda looked at the shoes behind the wall and realised it's a pair of sportshoes ==> may be male. gave me a freakin' shock.

haha. anyway it turned out to a some female who was crying through the phone lah. pretty dumb and complicated situation. haha... that's the gist of it. :p
dreamerjarcheenta on February 18th, 2004 01:25 am (UTC)
you actually read the bible in the toilet!? anyway, if she was crying through the phone, you should have heard her sobbing right? anyway, your imagination really runs wild.. but if i were in the same situation, i'd probably be freaked out too.
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on February 16th, 2004 04:39 am (UTC)
erm. i sit on the toiletbowl and reply messages while... doing normal stuff people do on toiletbowls? and read, sometimes. hehe. and then after i leave the cubicle, i take a long time in combing my hair. haha. :p
dreamerjarcheenta on February 16th, 2004 05:27 am (UTC)
hahaha so you do read and sms in the toilet! but hey, don't underestimate the power of it - some people got their masters in the toilet! ;)

i love dilly-dallying in the toilet too! one of the few places you can be alone in your naked self (um, both figuratively and literally).
the doobfemdog on February 20th, 2004 08:24 am (UTC)
a little less than the girl next doorin_transit on February 27th, 2004 06:56 am (UTC)
but i seldom do it when people are waiting for me lah!