a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

  • Mood:

and i began to resemble a suction-cup garfield

the horriblest thing happened to me again today. i was just sitting in one of those double-seaters on the upper deck of the 60 bus on my way home just now, gazing out of the window, listening to some music and pretty much minding my own business when out of the blue, this rather (read: very and extremely) big-sized (read: possibly quite quite obese) guy came up the stairs and seated himself right next to me. at first i totally didn't think anything about it at all and i just moved slightly further towards the window so he could have more space, but when i moved myself in, he also adjusted himself so that he was also moving in... i don't know if he was simply trying to get himself seated more comfortably or what. but anyway, after this happened for a few seconds and he was still continuing to take up more and more space, i realised that he was really really squishing up into a corner... literally driving me up the... window. i tried to move my right arm so that our arms wouldn't be like touching each other, and so he could get more space too, but when i did that, he also moved his left arm to take up more space such that his arm was really pinning me down and i was starting to have difficulty breathing. at that time i was getting pretty scared already, so i started leaning forward, thinking, since he's taking up so much space and obstructing even my breathing, i might as well let him take up the whole space. but then i don't know how come his arm is so bloody fat, even after i moved, it still continued to restrict my movement and i ended rather pressed up against the window. and then you know what, at this time, i realised that THERE WERE SO MANY OTHER EMPTY DOUBLE-SEATERS AROUND! and it wasn't even as if there were only empty single seats, and that i was the skinniest person around that could offer him the most space. at that point, i was damn scared and hot and possibly extremely red in the face although the aircon was blowing right at me... shit. finally i couldn't stand it anymore and at the next bus stop, i pretended i was going to alight and tried to make my way through him to get downstairs. BUT HE WAS SITTING ON THE STRAP OF MY BAG!!! and then when i tried to free the strap from under him, he looked at me, and i trembled. and i didn't dare to even look at his face. it felt like everybody on the upper deck was staring at me... i think they really were. and a woman who was getting down also, she even turned all the way around to look at me, from the moment she was climbing down the stairs even 'til when she was downstairs waiting for the bus to alight. and then when she saw that i had gotten down to the lower deck without the intention of alighting, she abruptly stopped staring... as if she didn't wanna embarrass me further 'cos she knew why i got down. hell! and i couldn't stop feeling trembly all over.

and what's the worst thing ever? this so totally isn't the first time that it's happening to me!!! well, the last time it happened, it was some time ago... but still... it was also on the 60 bus (though last time it was still known as 226) and that was back in jc2 after school, and i also started finding it difficult to breathe properly 'cos each time i inhaled, my chest would have contact with the fat guy's arm. shitty hell. and at that time i endured it all the way 'til my stop, 'cos i couldn't even breathe, don't talk about moving. and now i don't even know if it's the same guy... they were all extremely fat and took up plenty, plenty of space, that's all i know. and there was also one other time back in secondary school, except it was a middle-aged uncle who wasn't really fat at all and besides it was a different thing, so i shan't talk about it. oh... and more recently another time last sem on the way to school with femdog on the mrt on matric day when we were separated by the working crowd and this weird guy kept pressing me against the door. and there was sufficient space around him. and he seemed to have had mistaken my thigh for the metal pole. i seriously don't know why 'cos i was wearing jeans. but the big fat problem here is, WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME??? do i even look like i deserve it, or asked for it?? i'm always just sitting there, looking out of the window and minding my own business when stuff like that happen! and then when i can't help turning red for all that lack of air and for feeling freaked out, people stare at me like i'm claustrophobic or like i have some history of having been sexually abused or something. and i can't even exactly say that they're doing anything funny, even if my guts ever allow me to, 'cos they can always say they were sleeping, it was an accident, and in this case, that they can't help being fat and obese and taking up all that space and squishing me into pulp etc. and if it were really really not at all intended, i really don't want them to think that i'm discriminating against them 'cos of their size or that they're foreign workers or what. and i really really feel that it's never ever my fault when it happens, i don't even dress at all provocatively or what, i just look like a little, very-dismissable schoolgirl minding her own business... SO WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME???

and this has to be my 300th entry, and i was actually hoping to save it for something a little more pleasant.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.