a little less than the girl next door (in_transit) wrote,
a little less than the girl next door

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i fell into a very deep sleep this morning and dreamt that there were a bunch of angry wild boars loose on some very ulu, jungle-like mrt station. while my parents and i were on the train, it passed a couple of them racing the train and making loud angry screechy whiney noises and everyone on the train leaned against the windows and doors to look at them. then the train arrived on the platform and came to a gradual stop. one of the boars stopped right in front of one of those mrt doors and started scratching fiercely at the door, and everyone then started to lean back in shock, perhaps a little afraid that it might scratch down the door, since the boars were really huge big and enormous stinky dribbly things. suddenly we all realised that the mrt doors were automatic and as long as the train had fully stopped beside its platform, the doors would open... you know, the way they do in real life (except i suspect those aren't automatic). but anyway, this one was. we all started freaking out and that caused a general panic on the train; people began running away from that door in particular.

at this point, i came to see that each mrt door being very close to the other, it would be difficult to predict exactly which one that angry boar would enter when the doors open. so i fled towards the other end of the train... only to realise that there was another boar somewhere else outside, down that length of the train. so then i turned back and stopped near one of those compartments connecting two carriages together. at that time, i came to realise that my parents were still near the doors where that first boar was located. being very hurried and panicky, and my mum being nearest to me, i grabbed her hand and began to run. meanwhile, my dad had begun running the opposite direction, which very soon met the head of the train (that is, not much space to run). at that moment, the doors had already begun to open, and there being no more time, i could only grab my mum's hand and run, but halfway in all that confusion, we separated. i hid behind a panel on the other side of the doors and suddenly everything seemed really quiet and peaceful, despite the sounds of wrenching screams coming from seemingly outside of my head, far far away. heart pounding, i prayed. (it's funny how i pray in dreams for dream stuff, so embarrassing)

but anyway, when the doors finally closed again and the train moved on and the boars had left, people started coming out from their hiding places. after a long long while of perhaps several hours, i finally found my dad. he was sitting on a wheelchair with a blanket over his lap. apparently he had had his legs torn out by one of the boars and said he was not going to make it for long. my mum, on the other hand, seemed to have been carried away by the boars or something. either way, we just happened to be sure, in the dream, that she was no longer alive. *eek* at that point, it occurs to me that we were actually travelling to some place like thailand or bangladesh or something, and if i was gonna be the sole survivor at the end of the journey, i would need to have someone to contact when i arrived, so amidst tears and stuff, i had to settle the practical stuff of getting my relatives' contact numbers and stuff. there was a lot more of the dream, where i had to go and meet my sister when i finally arrived, and go and stay at some relative's house (which i don't actually know who in real life) etc etc etc, but that's another long story.

the whole big point of the dream was that i was crying quite badly at some time 'cos of everything that had happened. i didn't run back to grab my dad, and i didn't try very hard to keep my mum with me too, because i was running too hard and i wanted to save myself and they were hindering me, amidst all that mess and chaos and panic. it's a bit like my principle in crossing the road -- never hold hands, 'cos when a car comes rushing at you, all can run freely to safety as they deem fit. in other words, holding hands, dragging somebody else along with you, hinders not only yourself, but also the person you're dragging... that's my philosophy for crossing roads. but anyway, when i started to realise that it was all a dream (even while i was still sleeping), i started thinking that yes, i did save myself and reach the final destination, but all my companions less. i knew the way to safety but i either didn't try, or didn't try hard enough to get them there, thinking they'd have the sense to figure the way out themselves, and man, was i wrong. i did pray for their safety, but when the boars were let in, i ran to save my own life; the entire focus dominating my head, heart pounding blood pumping, was my own survival (call it instinct). the doors are automatic -- once the train reaches the platform, they will open, without fail. there's no time.
Tags: tel'aran'rhiod

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